A632.6.3.RB - The High Cost of Conflict

Reflect on a personal or business situation in which the cost of conflict was significantly greater than you would've preferred. Analyze the situation in relation to Stewart Levine's 10 principles of new thinking (p. 46). How would this have changed the situation? Could it have reduced the cost of conflict? What lessons did you learn from this exercise?

In my previous leadership position in the military, I was second in charge for a large training center.  My primary duties were addressing staff and facility needs and during absence of my boss I assumed his duties also.  My particular story deals with my feeling that I was doing more work than I was required to.  The person I worked for was going through some personal things with his family and was starting to spend a lot of time away from work.  Every morning and evening, I would find his work on my desk for me to complete.  This kept on for many weeks straight without an explanation.  I was given very little advance notice regarding the situation and how long this would continue.  I don’t think I was upset with being given the duties; I think I was more upset with not getting the credit or the title that went with the duties.  My boss at the time would show up for the important meetings with senior management, but delegated the everyday tasks to me.  At the time, production was good and we did not have any drop in productivity and he was still receiving all the credit although he was not at work. To compound the situation, I became upset and instead of having a sit-down conversation with my boss and his boss, I decided that many of the duties I was assuming were not my responsibility.  All of a sudden, the office missed a couple of deadlines and production began to decline.  The bottom line is my senior boss had a closed door conversation with me about what was happening so he knew I was angry and he wanted to know why I started to let things slip.  His rational was that he knew what was going on and he also knew I could handle the new responsibilities.  This was his process of transitioning me into the new position; however, I let the situation affect me emotionally and professionally.  The job of number two is to take care of number one.  Normally, I would have been fired, but I was given a second chance and I went on to be very successful in the position.   

Stewart Levine's 10 principles of new thinking could have played a very significant role in the way this issue was addressed.   The first new principle of abundance clearly demonstrated that I possessed a myopic view of the situation at the time.  I clearly could not see beyond my own need at the time.  The second new principle should have been addressed and I should have re-established a previously strong partnership that benefited the unit.  The third principle of creativity was a step I clearly failed at.  Here, I let emotion take over and failed to see the assets I had around me to handle the increased responsibility.  The fourth principal of new thinking is fostering collaboration.  However, I could not foster collaboration because I was blinded by frustration and anger.  My boss and I had previously had a very good working relationship and I let that relationship weaken when I became angry.  Communication, communication, communication it is the only true way to address a situation and is very important to the fifth principle.  My failure here was that I did not explain how I felt about the situation or my perspective of the situation.  My thinking at this point was very old fashioned as I became very isolated from others at this point in the situation. Principle six of forming long term collaboration was overcome with anger and emotion.  My old style of thinking was only about the short term goal…me getting credit for my work; I failed to look at the long term collaboration of taking care of the mission and proving that I could handle the extra responsibility.  It is clear, in this situation; I was basing my actions on logic and not any type of emotion as identified by principle seven.  Logic told me that if I did the job I should be given all the credit…right.  Well, I was very wrong.  I should have seen how my pride was hurt and I was taking the situation personally.  Principle eight of new thinking is on point as I should have disclosed information and feelings about how I felt about the situation to my boss.  Information he had would have eliminated the conflict I had.  Learning throughout the resolution process is something I definitely needed to understand.  Principle nine identified my old thought process of me being right and winning in this situation by trying to prove a point.  Last but not least is principle ten; becoming responsible.  Here I should have dealt with the situation head on and held myself accountability for my part in the conflict that I initiated because I failed on many levels of Levine's 10 principles.  Without a doubt these new principles would have been a successful tool for resolving conflict.  From this educational endeavor, I have learned to take a different look at the traditional ways of dealing with problems.   My eyes were opened to see how these principles could have changed the process and the resolution of this conflict; if anything just to change my mind frame of thinking.