A520.3.5.RB - Supportive Communication

Whetten & Cameron (2012) defined developing management skills as “communication that seeks to preserve or enhance a positive relationship between you and another person while still addressing a problem, giving negative feedback, or tackling a difficult issue”.  As identified in the textbook, proper use of supportive communication guidelines is a way to achieve this goal. 

·         Differentiate between coaching and counseling situations - Counseling is focused on addressing issues that are current and from the past.  Many experts believe that counseling can be a life-changing series of events.  Through supportive communication in the work environment, the goal is to change the performance levels for the present and for the future.  Coaching, on the other hand, focuses on the present and future issues.  In my work environment, using supportive communication during coaching can be very instrumental in improving performance results.

·         Communicated congruently - For this situation, to integrate supportive communication successfully, I must make sure my facial expressions do not overrule my words.  Sometimes I know what the correct words are that needs to be said, but deep down the words you want to say are different. 

·         Use descriptive statements - To integrate supportive communication successfully for this area, I have to be careful not to evaluate certain issues before I have examined them, leading me to subconsciously use descriptive statements.  By using descriptive statements during supportive communications, hopefully, I can learn to remove personal bias out of my conversations. 

·         Use problem-oriented statements - The bottom line here is to make sure I use problem-oriented statements rather than person-oriented statements during conversations.

·         Use validating statements/Use specific statements - Facts, facts, facts; this is something that I believe strongly in.  With facts, I can make sure the topic is focused and supports the conversation.  The focus should be more specific, meaning we should focus on what is causing the need for supportive communication which can lead back to the root cause of the problem.

·         Use conjunctive statements that flow smoothly - I think it is very important to repeat parts of the conversation to ensure everyone received and interpreted the same message and at the same time acknowledge what was said by others.  I also believe pauses in the conversation are very important to allow time for reflection of the statements in the conversation. 

·         Demonstrate supportive listening - I think everyone can use improvement in this area.  The listener must be very careful with non-verbal actions such as body language; the listener can misconstrue this as being inattentive to what they are saying.  I have learned are the most important thing is maintaining eye contact during the conversation with the speaker.

Supportive communication is a skill that can be very beneficial to anyone serving in a leadership position that has to make key decisions.  By remaining focused on how I can best utilize supportive communication, I feel I can continue improving my communication and leadership skills.

A520.3.1.RB Decision Making

What are a few words that describe your decision-making style?

Decisive, analytical, optimistic, creative, logical, and flexible

What are the opposites of the words you chose?

Biased, pessimistic, dishonest, motive driven, irrational, and rigid

Could you see any benefits to making decisions using an approach that is based on either the opposites or somewhere in-between and what outcomes would you expect to see?

Yes, I can see benefits from using the opposite approach at times; maybe not all the chosen words but without a doubt some of them.  To start with, we all want to be flexible in our decision making process, but many times there are many constraints that cause us to be rigid.  An example would be when dealing with the law.  There is not a lot of flexibility when it comes to legal matters.  Should I speed or should I stick to the speed limit.  Honestly, one mile over the speed limit and you are breaking the law, no matter what anyone says.  We have to ask ourselves, we embellish facts sometimes to motivate employees when it comes to decision making.  We even say we are making the best decision for the company, but really do we have personal motives in our decision making process.  Very few of us make decisions without considering WIIFM (what’s in it for me).   I would like to think we consider the outcomes which guides us in our decision making process.  The problem is when we are overcome with the win –win mentality.   Internally a lot of us even wrestle with the theories of, does the end justly the means or does the mean justly the end. No matter what choice you make, your style of making decisions will be scrutinized by yourself and others.   

Last but not least in the opposite word that describe my decision-making style is being biased.  What if you had to eliminate several jobs from your organization?  After you analyze the situation, you realize the positions that are expendable include your best friend and your position.  Are you really going to turn in that report and is or are you going to be bias and figure out a way to save one or both of the positions.  If you are biased in your decision making you are not being fair to the organization that hired you. 

As decision makers, we want to think our decisions are easy and we have chosen the right style.  We want to be comfortable with our choices, but the truth is far from this.  Our decisions are influenced by many factors; seen and unseen. 

A520.2.6.RB - Time Management

1. Assess your time management skills.
2. Evaluate how these skills have increased your locus of control.
3. Identify three new areas in which improved time management skills would reduce stress.
4. Add an action plan to integrate these to your daily routine.

        I believe I have a mixed assessment of my time management skills.  I tend to be very organized and generally take the time to think about every particular situation before it occurs when the issue is a high priority.  The same cannot be said when I have a long timeline to work with.  This is due to the fact that I prioritize everything I do; if it can wait, it normally drops down on the depth chart.  I am a habitual list maker, with yellow sticky note pads everywhere in my work area.  I even keep a “things to do list” which has become a living document.  Even when my family or friends tell me something that needs to get done, I tell them to write that down, or send me an email, if not I may forget about it. The biggest issue I have when it comes to time management is I will become “stressed out” when things get out of my control or when I try to do too many things at one time.

        Throughout my professional and academic career, I have gained an appreciation for the understanding of locus of control.  I have even learned how my actions are influenced by both internal and external locus of control.  I am a firm believer my management and leadership skills have been enhanced due to the fact that I have a comprehension of my internal locus of control. When my time management is where I want it to be, it definitely has an effect on my locus of control process.  I have a passionate belief and understanding that I have a major effect of how I manage my time.  If my time management fails, I blame no one but myself.  For me to have any type of fun for myself or to spend with my family, I must manage time effectively.  I am very aware that I am a Type A personality and can sometimes be very controlling.  I like knowing that I am in control of how I use my time.  I get self-satisfaction if I can properly organize the personal and work events around me.

       If I had to identify three new areas in which improved time management skills would reduce my stress, it would be by establishing and maintaining deadlines I set and reducing procrastination when I have time to address certain issues.  Just because it is not due until later, does not mean I should not do it in my spare time.  Last, but not least, I need to schedule more personal time; better controlling the type A personality in me. 

        I am not sure if I need an action plan, however I know what I need to do to improve.  I just need to follow through with my thoughts.  I think the biggest obstacle I need to overcome would be to maintain balance in my life; professional versus personal life, while decreasing time spent on non-priority activities. I need to also understand that there will always be setbacks and that sometimes I cannot control my external environment. 

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A520.2.3.RB - Conflict Management

·                     What was the conflict? One individual felt they were harassed by one of his peers.

·                     What role did you play? As peer and as facilitator

·                     Who were the other participants in the negotiation? Other employees, supervisor

·                     What was the result?  It was agreed that the incident could have been handled better

·                     Can you see any room for improvement to how the conflict was handled?  Yes, but everyone needs to understand and control their emotions

BACKGROUND

Recently, I found myself involved in a conflict where two of my peers were engaged in a heated argument.  The argument became very garish to the point where they were yelling very loudly across the room.  The current supervisor decided that he needed to call a meeting and attempt to use a collaboration method to reach a solution.  Unfortunately, I felt that everyone should not be involved in such a meeting because we were not involved in the disagreement.  I made it very clear on how I felt about this meeting (that only the individuals who had the initial conflict should be there) and my boss was not happy with me which caused another conflict.  The foundation of the initial conflict was based on the fact that one employee felt they were being harassed by another employee’s actions.  Keep in mind that the key word here was “harassed”.  The supervisor made an attempt to smooth everything over by downplaying the incident.  In my opinion, the supervisor was avoiding the issue because the individual stated they felt harassed and wanted the issue addressed.  From everything I have learned and taught about leadership, avoidance is not a preferred technique unless it serves a purpose.  As a supervisor, it is your responsibility to address actions of harassment; however, I felt he did not want to do the proper paperwork and when I asked him why, he went on a rampage and said to the initial employees who had the conflict to either file a formal written complaint or shut-up.  I was then told not to bring up the word harassment again because I was not involved in the incident.  I agreed with him and again emphasized the reason I felt everyone in the office should not be involved. 

As the meeting ended, I asked my peers to stay around for a conversation because I felt the conflict was resolved inappropriately.  Of course, I did this with the supervisor’s permission (not wanting to cause another conflict between me and my supervisor).  I explained my perspective that all this chaos could have been eliminated if the two individuals took action and had a private conversation, instead of yelling at each other across the room…the way adults were supposed to do.   

I explained that this incident became overblown because individuals let emotions overtake common sense.  The bottom-line is everyone needed to try to come to an understanding regarding this incident by sitting down together to discuss the problem and working on a solution together.  If that did not solve the issue, then get the supervision involved.  In the end, the conversation I conducted brought light to how this incident could have been avoided. One thing I did keep in perspective was I did not favor one person over the other, and both individuals came to me and thanked me for that.  Another thing that my leadership experience taught me is one incident of conflict can expand very quickly if not managed correctly. 

A520.1.6.RB - Self-Awareness

          Many variables influence the self-awareness of an individual in a leadership position.  So far the Embry Riddle Aeronautical University MSLD program has allowed me to reflect on my personality, values, and thinking style and has made me more aware of myself as a leader, both in a personal and professional capacity.

What I have noticed is how I am more cognitive when I process information and address situations.  I am still skeptical of people’s opinion when I do not feel they have the same qualifications as I do. I still find myself not giving attention to everyone’s thoughts and opinions; even worse, I now use the newly gained knowledge to analyze some opinions more in-depth to discover flaws or untruths.  The new knowledge of self-awareness has taught me is to reflect upon myself and evaluate the motives of others.  The overall self-awareness of my strengths and weaknesses through self-evaluation has caused me to look at situations differently since beginning the program. Several of the courses have given me the insight to evaluate how I could contribute positively to my current organization through my decision making.

The "Five Core Aspects of Self-Awareness" will become a beneficial tool for personal evaluation and self-reflection.  Developing emotional intelligence (EQ) will improve my interactions and self-discipline.  I have never been a person who used emotion when it comes to making business or managerial decisions.  However, I have learned that with this skill, I can build stronger relationships in my work environment.  I do not think is will be an easy task for me to accomplish.  What I must keep in perspective is that there is a difference between learning the theory of emotional intelligence and being able to apply that new found knowledge to different aspect of my life.

·         Emotional Intelligence - I now take care to separate facts from emotion
·         Attitude towards Change - I now have an open attitude toward change
·         Cognitive Style - there has definitely been a change in the way I think, perceive, and recall information
·         Values - I will discuss late in this blog
·         Core Self-Evaluation - I discussed this earlier in this blog

 

The lessons learned in this program are very beneficial and if used correctly can enhance your career.  For me, this is an endeavor in-progress.  As many before me have mentioned, a lot of our actions and decision making processes are based on how we were raised.  For me my parents instilled values in me early in life, while the military played a key role earlier in my adult life.  I sometime question these values I have assimilated throughout my life; I now see the world in a different light.  I now find myself using pieces from here and there and establishing my own values, of which, I am now passing on to my kids. 

So-far, I will have to honestly state that the program has had a somewhat positive effect on my self-awareness. It has helped me improve in several areas of how I view leadership.  Self-awareness like many skills takes time to master.  One must first learn how to correctly define self-awareness as it fits in their life.  The one has to learn how to apply this new knowledge to enhance their career.  Hopefully, the Embry Riddle Aeronautical University MSLD program will enhance my learning even more as I continue through program. 

A520.1.2.RB-Self Awareness

What do you notice in your results? I found that my results fell into the average category when compared to the scoring groups used for each study.  Overall, I did not score very well on the self-awareness survey and I was pleasantly surprised with my results.  This is the one area where I feel I did not understand what the expectations were.  I really had to think about what my reaction was to the questions and analyze certain situations compared to what I thought the right should be.  Self-evaluation is something I thought I had a in-depth understanding of.  For emotional intelligence, I scored a 70 which placed me in the third quartile; stating I have a slightly above average ability to manage my emotions when dealing with others.  For cognitive style I scored close to the mean for knowing and planning while scoring below average on creating.  On locus of control scale, I scored a 6; third quartile.  For tolerance of ambiguity I scored a 59 which placed me in the third quartile.  This indicates that I perform well above average in the ability to cope with situations with ambiguity.  Last, but not least, is the core self-evaluation scale I scored a total of 43 with an average of 3.5 placing me in the second quartile with a range of 3.35-3.87. 

How much of this rang true for you? I am not sure I agree with the overall results.  I have learned that assessment results change according to your internal position in life and also according to the external environment you have to deal with.  I understand that answers vary and there is no right or wrong responses.  I have to say about 50 percent of the results may be true.  However, from a personal perspective, I feel the questions are very general and subjective and not directed toward the individual. Nonetheless, because the direction did not state to think about a particular event, I am not sure if I would say that the assessments are practical and are based on real life.

What did you see that you were expecting in the results?  I felt that three areas were close to my expectations; emotional intelligence, locus of control and tolerance of ambiguity.  Overall, the results provided me with information that can be good for identifying my strengths and weaknesses. I feel these tools will be useful in helping me narrow down weaknesses that I was not aware of. 

What were the surprises? The thing that surprised me was the results on the self-awareness section of the assessment.  I honestly thought I would score higher in this area.  I guess I am not as self-aware as I thought.  With these results, I am now humbled after taking the self-awareness survey.  I was also very surprised about the thought provoking decisions I had to make with limited information on the defining issues test.  I did not score not score as high as I thought I would in this area. 

How will you make use of this information?  I am not sure of how I will use this information.  Maybe, when the course is over, I will retake the assessments and see how much I have changed.  With the pretest results, I will be able to acknowledge if I have some shortcomings that may need to be addressed for my success as a leader.  With post test results, I will be able to turn these identified shortcomings into assets by becoming more self-aware.  The information gained from this exercise will be used as a baseline from which I attempt to use the information to define areas that I can improve.